Katie McGuire

Professor Miller

English 110

18 February 2025

Lost in the Scroll

The world’s relationship with technology is both a blessing and a curse. Technology has made life more efficient. It has become a powerful tool to communicate, make connections, and educate oneself on a variety of topics through instant access to information. Yet, with all the ways technology has enhanced our lives, it also comes many challenges. While there are many benefits to enhancing our lives through the use of technology, there are also many challenges and drawbacks. Today, we live in an era of digital overload. Many are overwhelmed by constant notifications making it difficult to disconnect and creating a sense of urgency to respond. This often leads to an increase in anxiety and stress, as well as an increased laziness by reducing motivation and the inability to disconnect from the world. Many become less aware or detached from reality. Most importantly, this disconnect from the real world restricts us from maturing and having meaningful face-to face conversations, affecting our social and emotional growth and overall well being. Sherry Turkle, a researcher at the prestigious Massachusetts Institute of Technology and also the author of “The Empathy Diaries” has dedicated years to what technology affects in our relationships and throughout our lives. Her research and article brings awareness on the challenges and difficulties we face through technology. After reading this article and reflecting on the many key aspects, I came to the realization that embracing discomfort of engaging in meaningful conversation without the use of technology is valuable. It is important for myself and others to embrace the discomfort of a hard in person conversation to allow ourselves the ability to grow and develop important social skills. Leaving the comfort and dependency of using technology begins with discipline. Forcing ourselves to connect with the real world by stepping away from the use of technology to communicate is valuable in staying connected to the real world and maintaining a healthier life. Managing technological boundaries is important. Having an awareness of technology’s harm and where it draws us away from real life and authentic experiences creates a much needed healthy balance.

Our world has become very digital overtime and technology now plays a massive role in our lives. There are many concerns involving technology and how it may create a feeling of companionship without the emotional part of friendship. As technology keeps advancing, it has provided even deeper illusions of friendship, however it still lacks the empathy necessary for true intimacy. Real human connections and friendships require a level of emotional give and take that technology cannot provide. Sherry Turkle introduces her view, “From the early days, I saw that computers offer the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship and then, as the programs got really good, the illusion of friendship without the demands of intimacy. Because, face-to-face, people ask for things computers never do. With people, things go best if you pay close attention and know how to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Real people demand responses to what they are feeling. And not just any response” (346). In other words, Turkle is trying to make us aware of what technology is affecting in our relationships. She is making a point that there is a big difference between having an in person conversation compared to an online conversation. Humans desire an intimacy and connection that the computer cannot provide. Using technology to communicate does not give us the knowledge of what it’s like to be in people’s shoes and feel empathy. Empathy can only be developed through a face-to-face conversation. Engaging in a conversation with someone who lacks empathy is personally something I dislike. It creates a false sense of connection or friendship and a deep feeling of being misunderstood or feeling invaluable. Engaging with someone who lacks empathy often leaves me feeling empty. Empathy is commonly described as the ability to take on another person’s perspective and share and respond to their feelings. Reflecting on Turkle’s writing, a major cause of lack of empathy in our society is the influence of technology. Through Shurkle’s writing we see that younger generations are losing this feeling and ability. She refers to putting yourself in other people’s shoes which is a skill that comes from empathy. 

One of the most common and frustrating experiences that I face occurs while having an in person conversation. Many times while speaking with someone face to face, that person will constantly check their phone. A term I was introduced to through Turkle’s writing about this need to engage with one’s phone over engaging with someone in person is called “phubbing.” This term is new to the dictionary and means maintaining eye contact while texting. Sustaining eye contact, while texting during the conversation, feels shallow. Texting during a conversation makes it difficult to grasp the person’s full attention and often leads to a sense of disconnection, even if the person appears to be engaged in the conversation. Turkle’s writing challenges us to see what we are losing from technology when we lean too much on it. Personally, Turkles’ article puts it in perspective. Are we sacrificing our interactions with others or truly connecting with people? She helps us readers become aware of how we are showing up in conversations. Technology subtly changes the depth of our conversations and our relationships. 

The loss of meaningful, open-ended interactions is a major obstacle to development and growth in the current technology era. Instead of having face-to-face conversations, many people run to technology as an escape from discomfort or vulnerability. Sherry Turkle emphasizes how the loss of conversations impacts our ability to connect, create, and grow. She explains this dynamic by stating, “It all adds up to a flight from conversation – at least from conversation that is open-ended and spontaneous, conversation in which we play with ideas, in which we allow ourselves to be fully present and vulnerable. Yet these are the conversations in which the creative collaborations of education and business thrive” (344). In other words, Turkle believes that we are running from conversation which is stopping us from flourishing and growing through vulnerability. I agree with Turkle’s view on conversation. When we engage in honest, open-ended dialogue, we not only become more present with others, but we also allow ourselves to experience real growth. The reference to a flight from conversation interests me because it captures how technology is used as an escape mechanism, helping us to avoid discomfort and run and hide into the so-called safety of the online world. Personally having hard conversations helps me grow and understand myself and others more. It pushes me to learn how to think deeply, communicate effectively and develop new ideas. 

Turkle’s idea of conversation creates collaborations of education, speaks to me through classwork. In group projects, when we are forced to work together, ideas begin to flourish and our results are improved or more detailed. This connection would be almost impossible through technology alone. Technology would limit the potential of our work. Running from conversation not only hurts ourselves, but it hurts our ability to connect with others and have more meaningful ideas or interactions. Even though technology is helpful, it cannot replace how valuable human connection is through conversation. Embracing the discomfort and becoming fully present and vulnerable is the only way we mature and develop these ideas as Turkle states. Overusing technology, we miss out on true connection which is a vital part of growth as a human.

Engaging in deep conversations allows us to find the hidden narratives that shape our lives and our decisions. Turkle highlights how special dialogue can be, even in the context of therapy, where conversation helps you understand your true self at a deeper level. She writes, “Without these narratives, you can learn a new fact but not know what to do with it, how to make sense of it. In therapy conversation explores the meanings of the relationships that animate our lives. It attends to pauses, hesitations, associations, the things are said through silence. It commits to a kind of conversation that doesn’t give ‘advice’ but helps people discover what they have hidden from themselves so they can find their inner compass” (347). Turkle is helping us understand the value of  conversations. Conversations not only help us grow, but they help us see ourselves in different ways. Conversations, like the ones we have through therapy, can help us find the things that we hide deep down or that we are constantly running from. The importance of this kind of dialogue has been beneficial through difficult moments in my life. Recently, having experienced therapy myself,  I started to pay more attention to my emotions and hesitations. This has helped me see patterns in my relationships that I tried to run from and ignore. My therapist had made me realize that part of my relationship conflicts were caused by my own relationship with my father. She helped me realize through sessions that I needed to heal from my past to be able to give more into my relationships. Without these reflective moments I would not have been able to develop a stronger sense of self-awareness and direction.

Reflecting on Sherry Turkle’s writing and how she elaborates on the effects of technology and our world highlights how we need to prioritize communication and human connection. Through her research, Turkle teaches us how technology is convenient and efficient, yet it can damage the growth and empathy we feel from in person conversations. When we embrace vulnerability and discomfort we get to experience personal growth and real relationships. Since our world has developed into using technology more frequently we need to find balance throughout our daily life. Turkle includes that technology is a useful tool when we do not let it ruin our human connection. Being aware of the harmful effects that technology may cause and understanding the value of conversation, allows us to develop essential social skills, builds stronger relationships, creates empathy and human growth. Growth happens when we engage in genuine face to face interactions and push past our discomfort by putting down the one thing that may be keeping us from true potential, the phone. 

Works Cited

Turkle, Sherry. The Empathy Diaries. Penguin Press, 2021